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Scientists Reveal Eclipse Is Actually Alien Spaceship

WASHINGTON - This month’s much-anticipated solar eclipse is actually an unidentified object of unknown origin, piloted by extraterrestrial beings from another planet, scientists announced Monday. A member of the crew of the spacecraft who agreed to communicate on condition of anonymity revealed that blocking out the sun to see how humans react is actually a very popular vacation for their species. “Oh yeah, it’s like a luxury space cruise with a little entertainment built in,” the being said. “It has to be booked many Earth years in advance. It’s the most coveted ticket in town.” According to that crew member, the company responsible for the tour is working on its next big attraction: The Anti-Eclipse Tour, which is a similar idea but instead of blocking the sun, the ship will feature a giant magnifying glass that will exponentially intensify the sun as it passes over. “That one should be an even hotter attraction, if you know what I mean,” the alien added with what is presumably the equivalent of a human wink.


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