CHICAGO - In a polarizing result being claimed as a victory by all sides, a recent survey found that 6 in 10 extraterrestrial beings prefer Chicago pizza to any other style, according to a local advocacy group. Proponents claim this proves without a doubt that Chicago pizza is the best pizza in the universe. “We’ve always known that Chicago has the best pizza on Earth, but now we can say that it’s the favorite on any planet, in any solar system,” said Mike Cowan, president of the Greater Chicago Slice Society. "Whether you're more into tavern style or deep dish, the important part is that pizza from Chicago is universally loved. Literally!" Cowan added. Skeptics in New York, Detroit, and New Haven issued a joint rebuttal: “These numbers are misleading considering we don’t even know if aliens have tried any other styles. Or whether they have mouths or taste buds or digestive systems at all,” the statement read in its entirety. Advocates for so-called “California pizza” were disregarded before they could weigh in.
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