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Man in Black Longs for Pop of Color

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - A government agent whose identity, department, title and location have all been redacted expressed dismay today that his bosses “strongly discourage” any form of individuality, to the point where he feels he’s required to wear a black suit, white shirt, and black tie every single work day. “I got side-eye for accidentally wearing gray socks one day,” the agent said. “Even gray is too ‘colorful’ for these people.” We attempted to reach out to the man in black’s superiors for comment, but you can probably guess how that went. When pressed for more details, the man in black admitted that it’s more the principal than anything. “If I’m being honest, I just don’t like them to tell me what to wear,” he said. When asked what his favorite color is, he thought for a second and replied, “If I had to pick, I guess it is actually black.”


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